October 26, 2011 | 
Author October 24 was the nine year anniversary of the night I met my wife Jaca.
On October 24, 2011 we were sitting out on the deck, reminiscing, looking back at that day, who we were then, where we are now and where we want to go from here. Taking in the wonder of it all and how quickly the time has past. Giving thanks for having found each other… The weather was beautiful, sunny with a hint of crispness and unmistakable scent of Autumn around the corner, very much like the day of our first date.
We first connected through an online dating service. Jaca loves to tell the story about how we nearly didn’t meet.
Originally when I joined the dating site I had a free membership. At that time, means’ free memberships had very few features. You could look but not touch so to speak. View profiles but not contact anyone. After some months I decided to take the plunge and get a paid membership. I reasoned I should get serious about finding a date or get off the site. My instincts were a woman wouldn’t contact a free member. They would think I was cheap or insincere.
Almost the same day I upgraded, Jaca was checking her daily email ‘profile matches’ and saw mine so she visited and liked my pic and blurb.
I can’t remember what my blurb was… Something about loving to work on computers and being paper trained I think… Anyway, Jaca liked it, but the date stamp indicated I had not been online for 6 months! Of course that was not accurate but when Jaca saw it, she thought, “what’s the use of contacting him”. She nearly shut the window, but didn’t. Instead said to herself, “what the heck, if he’s involved with someone, he’ll ignore my email or tell me” and sent me off an email.
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A short time ago I received a message from a woman saying that her online dating love would not talk to her off line and she didn’t know what to do. I wanted to bring this here as I think it is important issue.
When someone is saying they will ‘only’ communicate with you online there should be red flags going up, big time.
Now, there can be a number of reasons why your online dating love will only talk to you online and not offline for example:
1. If you have only been communicating for a short time it could be that they may not feel comfortable giving out their number, and in some cases even less comfortable calling you.
2. It could be that the picture they sent and what they said they do is not ‘quite true’ so they are afraid to go any further.
3. The other side could be, unfortunately, that he/she is married or living with someone.
4. The worse possible case is that they are a predator, and as much as I hate to say it happens, it does.
So if your online dating love does not want to communicate any other way ask them why. Give them a chance to answer as it may be something difficult for them and have nothing to do with you.
If they do not answer you, or if what they tell you does not ‘feel’ right, then get out of it right now.
As hard as it may be to let go, you have to look out for your own well being.
Remember, there are others out there. Just because ‘one’ is not right does not mean that the next one will not be.
Click here to read more helpful online dating articles.
If you do not have anyone to be with on Valentine’s Day (which all the ads say you should have) now is the time to reach out through online dating.
This is Valentine’s weekend and many will be looking for a connection through online dating because YOU are not the only one that is alone.
There are many online dating sites that are offering specials:
Chemistry if offering a free weekend from Feb 11th to Feb 13th. Click here to check it out.
LavaLife has launched a new 30-day Free Trial for new users who sign up within the month of February.
Click here to check it out.
EHarmony is offeirng Communicate With Your Matches For Free in February.
Click here to check it out.
Take the step. This could be the
last Valentine’s Day that you are alone – trust me.
Jan
There was an article in our local paper that said that Valentine’s Day has no meaning for ‘gays’. Excuse me??!!!! This statement, and the following article has been running around my head and I just could not sit back and not say anything.
Love is love…is love…is love…is it NOT?!
No matter what ‘love’ you share, Valentine’s Day is for anyone who is looking for love, just finding love, or in love, no matter straight or gay.
I have to say, right here, who decides what IS love, what IS the right kind of love. We are all human, adults, and allowed to love who and whatever way we choose (within the boundaries of course).
I am more than happy to say that we have a whole section dedicated to gay love or finding gay love. You can view it at:
http://www.onlinedatingresources.com/
As Valentine’s Day approaches I hope that if you do not have a love yet, that everyone finds a love online – EVERYONE, whether straight or gay!!
There was an article in the paper this morning about a man, who is on several online dating sites, who steals from woman that he dates. They know of 5 instances but there could be more. The last one he stole her car. It made me think I should talk about this subject again.
There are a number of security and safety issues to consider when you are communicating online, whether it is instant messenger, in chat rooms, forums or through online dating sites.
I have a full article covering Choosing A Handle, Connecting By Phone, Connecting In Person and more. Click here to read a full article on security.
In a hurry – check these folks out.
They do Comprehensive Background Checks, Criminal Records, Reverse Phone Lookups, Email Searches and a variety of public records. Click Here To Find Out Now!
The holidays can be hard when you are alone.
The holidays can also a great time to try online dating. There are many people out there that don’t want to be alone either. What a great time of year to connect.
You may not want to spend New Years with someone you just met online but it is a good time for a connection. You can find someone who you could enjoy a walk with, look at the lights and decorations.
Take time to meet new people that are probably feeling the same way as you are at this time of year. Remember, you are not the only single person out there, and millions of others are going through the same exact thing you are. Use this time of year to your advantage and find your love online!
Happy Holiday Loving!
Check out Online Dating sites here: http://www.onlinedatingresources.com
Do you know that if you close your eyes and see the person you want to be with you can? Seriously! Trust me, I did it.
What you need to do is see – in your minds eye – exactly who it is you want to be with. Focus on your technicolor vision of your Ideal Mate. See and feel, hear and smell, and taste fully what life will be like with that person. Where will you be? What will you be doing? What will you be wearing? Tasting? Touching? Feeling?
What you “see” is what you can bring to you through online dating. What you can “see” when you go to an online dating site is going to give you more of a chance of finding that person you ‘seek’ and ‘see’ because you already know who it is, just not their name – yet!
Love is out there and online dating is, in my opinion, one of the best ways to really find the one you ‘see’ and ‘seek’. I did and you can too!
When you find that someone special at an online dating site you spend a lot of time communicating. You may have even moved to talking on the phone. I know from my own experience that you learn more about the person, in such a short time, than you ever would in real life. think because you are so focused, no distractions.
The first ‘off line’ date can be very exciting and scary. There are a lot of “what ifs”. There are several things to keep in mind:
* If you have been honest, and I strongly recommend that you are completely honest, then the person you have communicated with and the picture you have seen will be the same (or pretty similar).
* Try not to expect the immediate love ‘chemistry’. That’s not to say it won’t be there but sometimes it takes a bit of time to kick in.
If the first date does not go as well as expected don’t give up right away. Keep in mind that this was the person you have been sharing so much time with.
I invite you to read my full article here:
http://www.onlinedatingresources.com/love-or-infatuation-tips.html
Happy Online Dating!
In fact, yes you can yes you can get “high” from Online Dating.
A report from England states that people can get “high” from trying online dating. What is the “high”. It is anticipation of romance and love… endorphins the flow through us that say ‘yes he/she may be the one and I am so happy’. Some people find the ‘rush’ from endorphins addictive.
Is there anything wrong with this, not at all. Just make sure that in your “high” you think with your head, as well your heart, so you don’t make any mistakes.
Always keep in mind the person you want to find, the love you want to find, keep focused. When the “high” hits make sure you know that it is the person you are really interested in and not just the excitement.
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Many people make a decision to try online dating because they think that dating people online is probably the fastest, surest and most effective way to go.
This can be true, but if you REALLY want to find the love of your life there are some steps I think you need to take first.
Write a list. Yes that’s right. Make sure you are clear on:
* What you do want and why. Make a list of the perfect mate for you. It is more imporatant to list everything first prior to the physical appearance. Why? If you find that pefect ‘one’ appearance is always secondary, unless that is all you care about. If that is the case don’t look for love, look for ‘lust’.
* What you don’t want. This list will go on the same page as what you do want, but cover such things as ‘going out with the guys/girls, drugs, etc.
* Visualize and feel what it would feel like to have what you want, this person, in your mind and in your heart. This is soooooooo important. When you know what it is you DO want and Do NOT want, you can almost see the person, feel them, touch them.
Keep this inside of you, and your heart, and ask the God(s) to help you find this person each time you go on your online dating site.
This was the most important step I took to find my love online (7 years married this year) other than both of us using Lavalife
I’d love to hear your success story!
http://www.onlinedatingresources.com/