Online Dating - A Fair Of Love
Saturday, May 29, 2004
Connecting Online...You Found Each Other How Wonderful!!
I received an email today for a woman who found my site and decided to try an Online Dating membership site with one of the Online Dating listings I have. Within a week she has connected with someone that she is happy with and he is happy with her too. I couldn't be more thrilled!
Anyone who has read this blog, or visited my site, you know that I am so personally involved in this because I have used Online Dating services and met my love this way. If I did not believe it was possible, or believe in it totally, I would never be doing this.
So, from my email, "S" I am just so thrilled for you and please keep in touch and let me know how it is going. For those of you out there who are still not sure, or maybe had a bad experience, drop me at note at info@onlinedatingresources.com I am here to help you all find love like I did, bumps and all!
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Leith
I'm listening.....
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Online Dating - Yes Even You Can Find Love
One of my goals of starting Online Dating Resources was to find online dating sites that covered a wide range of people. Sure there are lots out there for singles, divorced, all religions and races, etc., but I knew there just had to be specific sites for specific groups. One that has been up for a month or so now is Deaf Singles Connection, which I was very happy to find and think it is a great site. One that I just found today is called STD Singles. You can see both of these at the Specialty Links page.
This latest online dating site, STD Singles, I am pleased to showcase as I believe that people who have STD's, such as herpes, HIV, AIDS, etc., have the same right to find love as we all do. For those in this kind of situation find it, obviously, much more difficult to connect with people. Most would not be comfortable to talk about their condition outside of their own family or group of friends.
At STD Singles, whether they are looking for a life partner, or just someone to hang out with, they will be able to find someone, locally or around the world. It's a fun, interactive, safe and anonymous online dating site. This site gives these singles the chance to connect with people in a similar situation and, most importantly, find love.
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**Leith
I'm listening.....
Monday, May 24, 2004
Online Dating - Coming OUT Of The Closet
I promised a few days ago to get the latest success story up and finally did today. You can view it on my Success Stories page. I want to thank "P.S." for contacting me and having a chance to help him along. I am very happy for him and his new 'love' and hope you will be too.
I have updated so many pages today that I would have to do a site map in the blog to show you! But I will tell you, to make it a bit easier, that you have to check out Keep In Touch and Specialty Links if you don't have time to go through the others.
A special note for you women out there who are looking for something to buy the man in your life for Father's day, have a look at Links to Experience and go down a few to Bare Necessaties for Men. Now, tell me you don't want your man to look like that!!
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**Leith
I'm listening.....
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Finding Love Online... A Lost Love
I have been receving a number of emails about people that are not just looking for love online but looking for a lost love. That started me thinking what I could do to help. I looked at [ Online Dating Resources ] and realized that it was not set up in a way that it could really help the way I wanted to, so I started a new site.
DRUM ROLL HERE
INTRODUCING......[ Find Your Love Online ]. A new site I just launched to help people trying to find love online, especially a lost love. It is still in the baby stage, but I would love to hear what you think of the new site, especially those who messaged me asking for help in finding their lost love.
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**Leith
I'm listening.....
Friday, May 21, 2004
Online Dating - Tame or Walking on the Wild Side
Here we are at the start of the long weekend, if you are in Canada. So you might be facing many nights and days alone. What to do when you don't have a love but want to find one? Well as you know from my site, I have taken a great deal of time to find some great links and created reviews to go with them to help you along loves highway.
There are so many different ways to find love online now. For the adventurous minded who want to take a 'walk on the wild' side have a look at Adult Oriented Sites or Sexy Ads. Both of these pages will give you links to some great sites to help you along on your "walk".
If you are not ready for that yet, a couple of interesting sites I found are:
Cupid Cams a great way to keep in touch!
OR
"There" which is the online getaway that never sleeps. Meet and hang out with new people, play and get away in a lush 3D world.
A couple of different type of sites to meet and see people. Check them out...very kewl!
If you decide to take a 'walk on the wild side' off line make sure you visit this site as well
No matter whether it is online or off...ENJOY!!!
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Leith
I'm listening.....
Thursday, May 20, 2004
Links To Improve Your Online Experience
I am very pleased to present "Womynsware", a local sex toy shop in Vancouver British Columbia, that I am very happy to promote, not only because they are local but also because of their products and the great people that work there. They deal with sex and sexuality in a frank and forthright manner. Their website features product tutorials, exclusive woman-designed sexual products, philosophy-driven sex toy industry exposés, and educational support. This is a wonderful shop to browse or buy their products online. They are listed on the Specialty Links Page. You will also find some other specialty links on this page that I highly recommend because I use them myself. The "Love Scent - Pheromones" actually works...chemistry is a major key!!
BTW, did you notice that there is now a Comment area in the blog now?! Yes I still leave my own message, but if you look just below that you can see "Comment" and I would love to hear from you either way!
Thanks to, 'you know who', for sending in the new success story. I will get it up tomorrow so stay tuned.
A long weekend for some of us so hope you spend some of your time searching online for 'love' or 'lust' or both
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Leith
I'm listening.....
Monday, May 17, 2004
Online Dating - New Additions!!
I'm very happy to announce that we have new online dating link additions. So many, where do I start!! You just have to check out these:
Love Links Page
Adult Links Page
Same Sex Links Page
and of course
Sexy Ad Links Page
You will forgive me if this sounds like an advertisement, but in fact I am just very happy that I am able to bring you such wonderful online dating sites. You know it is my goal to do everything I can to make sure you find your online love.
The only other thing I wanted to mention was...how come you haven't being whispering
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Leith
I'm listening.....
Sunday, May 16, 2004
Online Dating - "I'm Gay, But Afraid To Come Out Of The Closet"
I received a message from a man who is not "out of the closet" but very interested in trying gay online dating to connect with people who understand his orientation, and possibly his need to come out slowly.
First, I want to say that I am not gay and I am not male, but I have had many relatives and friends that are gay, men and women. One, man, in particular made me think of what this man must be going through. I hope this story helps a bit.
This 'man' and I met when he was about 13 or 14 years old and I was about 17. He was very artistic, gentle and soft spoken, and not into sports and put down very much by his father who called him a "fag". All I saw was a lovely human being who was so much more progressed than so many people so much older than him. He was a lovely spiritual and giving human being. I did not think it fair that his father treated him that way, I also did not know he was gay. If he knew, he said nothing.
Years went by, we kept in touch and our friendship grew to a point that we knew it would be life long (which it is). He went on to have a girlfriend for many years, but in time this broke up. I am not sure at what point that it became obvious that he was gay. It did to me when he was around 21 or 22, and that was long before the 'girlfriend'. This is part of the problem of trying to be what everyone else 'hopes' you will be and not who you are. Doing what you think others want you to do. He lost years and struggled for a very long time.
This man is a very special friend of mine, now and always. He has been in a long term loving relationship with a man for many, many years. He is very much in love, as is his partner with him, and they have a wonderful life together and a future that will last a lifetime. I am so happy for him.
What I want to say to the 'man' that messaged me about "coming out of the closet" is if you can't do it openly, or comfortably, with people you know, then by all means do try out one of the many gay online dating sites I have listed on Online Dating Resources. You will be able to connect with men, but more importantly, I am sure you will find men that are either still "in the closet", close to coming out, or ready to help you as you embark on the path you need to be on.
My only caution is to make sure that the 'man' you connect with is not in a relationship or marriage. There are still a good number of men out there that have stayed in a relationship or marriage and kept a secret life going outside of it. Since you are just ready to 'open up', please try and make sure that the men you are communicating with are 'out of the closet' as well, or at least taking the same path you are.
I wish you well and if you need any further help, please don't hesitate to contact me.
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Leith
Come on, whisper in my ear.....
Saturday, May 15, 2004
Online Dating Profile and Picture
When you create an online dating profile it is really important that you take the time to enter as much information as you can about your likes, dislikes, interests, activities, beliefs, etc. This is the major 'picture' that the other person will see about you, and it can make the difference between replying and not replying to you. The other part of this is your photo. The majority, if not all people, who you want to connect with through online dating will want to see a photgraph of you. I know how hard it is for a lot of people to put a photo up.
I think we all first have to admit that we are not models or movie stars, and hopefully once that is dropped we will be more comfortable with our appearance. We also have to remember that not everyone is going to like someone slim, or someone fat, someone short, or someone tall. Everyone has their own preferences, so even if you look in the mirror and think that no one is going to be interested in you, chances are you are very wrong.
When you put a picture up make sure it is a current picture. Within the last couple of years is fine as long as you haven't changed too much in that time. If you have gained, or lost, 50 pounds, no longer have a beard, or your hair is now grey, those are major changes and yes you need a new photograph. Go to a professional, have a friend take one, or take one yourself. But do put one up that looks like who you are.
If you have a photo but just don't think it does you justice, or have one but other people are in it and that is not what you want to put up, then check out my Best Face Forward page where I can help you with any photo problem. This is new to Online Dating Resources and I am very excited about it..hope you are too!!
No matter what, just make sure your profile is complete and truthful and your picture is as well. You don't want to find an online love who has no idea who you are when they meet you, or when you meet them.
Hey Saturday night...go onlining
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Leith
Come on, whisper in my ear.....
Friday, May 14, 2004
Is It Just A Connection?
I recently received a message from a woman who wanted to know if her partner's online relationship was really an affair. She said that he spends a great deal of time with her online, but never off line, but she does not know all that they talk about because it happens mainly at night when she is in bed, as far as she knows.
First, I want to say that online dating sites are just wonderful places for people to be able to meet each other. Some people are not into the bar scene, parties, or just simply not outgoing. The birth of online dating has given them the ability to communicate with so many people from some many cities and countries that they would never have met.
The other side, is of course that some can develop online loves that would not have happened in person as well. I also have to say that simply because someone is communicating with someone online does not mean they are doing anything wrong. This is where the trust factor has to come in. If you feel that everything is right in the relationship/at home, no need to worry about communication online or off. As a matter of fact, off line communication can be more of a concern because 'they' are out and not home with you.
So, my feeling is, if there is nothing that is jumping out at you, or no feeling in your 'gut' then not to worry. Let him connect with many people, and by all means, join him as well. It is a wonderful world out there, and it is just a few keystrokes away!!
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Leith
Come on, whisper in my ear.....
Thursday, May 13, 2004
Online Dating - Second Time Around
I have an article up on Online Dating, Second Time Around about trying online dating after failing the first time or trying online dating after a failed marriage. What I wanted to talk about tonight was talking about your first time to your second online love. Sound confusing?
So you tried it once and it didn't work as you hoped it would. After a bit of time you try it again, you meet someone online and they ask you if you have me anyone before. Of course you are honest and say yes. No problem. Then you have more online contact and phone calls and decide to meet. The meeting goes well...happy day!! The next time you meet or maybe a bit later you start to discuss your online dating experience and you are asked if you ever met anyone from online dating before....OMG is this a trick question...yes and no....no and yes.
When you meet someone from an online dating experience you want to be open and honest about everything. The one thing you have to be sure of is that the person is ready to head the open and honest answer. Maybe they simply do not want to know, but ask anyways. Catch 22, what do you do?
My advice is to say as little as possible. Yes of course say that you did meet someone and it didn't work. You don't have to tell of your communication online, on the phone, or meeting in person. If the person you are now with pushes, ask them is they REALLY want to know and watch for a reaction. They may say yes and their heart may say no. Or they may say yes and they really mean it. It is quicksand so be careful.
NEED YOUR INPUT I am trying to rework Online Dating Resources so that it is more obvious, immediately, that I have experienced online dating and want to provide information, in many areas, to those thinking of trying it, or who are involved in it now. I am drawing a blank and hoping 'you' can help me come up with the right way to write it/explain it, or even a word or phrase that I just can't come up with right at this time. So if you would be so kind, email me at info@onlinedatingresources.com I would really appreciate your ideas. I want to give you the best online dating web site I can.
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Leith
Come on, whisper in my ear.....
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
He Won't Talk To Me Off Line
I received a message from a woman saying that her online love would not talk to her off line and she didn't know what to do. I wanted to bring this here as I think it is important.
When someone is saying they will 'only' communicate with you online there should be red flags going up, big time. There can be a number of reasons why your online love will only talk to you online and not offline. If you have only been communicating for a short time it could be that they may not feel comfortable giving out their number, and in some cases even less comfortable calling you (hey...we have all been there right). Could be that the picture they sent and what they said they do is not 'quite true'. The other side could be, unfortunately, that he/she is married or living with someone. The worse possible case is that they are a preditor, and as much as I don't want to admit it, this does happen.
So if your online love does not want to communicate any other way ask them why. Give them a chance to answer as it may be something difficult for them and have nothing to do with you. If they do not answer you, my friend, get out of it right now and find someone else. This is just not right!!
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Leith
Come on, whisper in my ear.....
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Online Dating - Sex and Cybersex (Part One)
Note: For anyone who might offended by straight forward sexual talk, you may want to leave right now. If you stay to read this, I have warned you ahead of time.
There are a whole variety of people that join online dating membership sites. Each have their own reasons for doing so, and join specific sites or areas within a site to, hopefully, fulfill their goals.
What I want to talk about tonight is the other side of online dating that doesn't get "openly" talked about very much. Sexual practices and cybersex.
People that join Adult sites are mainly looking for 'relationships' that do not necessarily fit the norm for everyone. Sites will explain what they are all about to avoid someone joining to find out they are in the wrong place. The people that are in the right place, may be looking for outside sexual adventure, as well as online sexual stimulation, known as cybersex.
The 'outside' sexual adventure can mean a one night stand, multiple partners, B&D, and so much more. People that belong to adult online dating sites are very comfortable with their sexual preferences and desires and expect the same from the people that they meet. A good number of these sites will have more explicit profiles as well as very explicit pictures. To be blunt, one of my complaints when I was a member of one was guys sending pictures of their 'appendage' and no face to go with it. Well yes you may be very well hung, but listen sweetheart, if you don't want to send me a fact to go with it I'm not sure I into using a paper bag. Now that's me. Others may be happy to see a 10 incher and not care in the least what the person looks like as long as they can enjoy the 10 inches. Or boobs down to the waist, that a man simply wants to drown in or put his 10 inches in between. Basically everyone on these sites are there for a reason and are happy to be there. Lots of fun to be had!!
In the Adult sites, there is also the other side, cybersex, where maybe it's not the right time to meet, but hey you can talk your way through 'mutual masturbation'. For some it may be a little un-nerving to have someone contact them for this kind of activity, for others they know how and enjoy it very much. I, personally, do not see anything wrong with cybersex, whether it's on an adult site or with someone you have an online relationship with that you can't see very often, or happens to live miles away. It is a wonderful way of sharing each other when you can't be together. Some just type (hey one hand typing is an art) while others will use cams and/or mic.
If anyone has had such a bad experience that I should show the other side of, please message me or leave a comment and I will be happy listen to what you have to say and show the other side.
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Leith
Come on, whisper in my ear.....
Monday, May 10, 2004
Online Words Of Love
When you are involved with online dating, words are the voice of your heart and soul to the one you wish to connect with. For those that find it easy to write (speak with typewritten words) they can express so much and so easily. Yes, they are probably that way in person as well. For those that type with one or two fingers, and can't think of the right thing to say, writing to an online dating connection can be create a lot of pressure and can even close an online connection just because you don't say the right thing or take to long to answer. So what is one to do?!
When you are talking to someone online try to 'type' to them the same way you would talk to them. Don't think so much of what you are typing, think more of what you are 'saying'. Not only will they get to know YOU but they will also start to 'hear' your words. Do you feel that your words just aren't expressing what you want to say? Then before you go online to meet your potential love, write something of your thoughts and words down that you want to say. A little like a script. No, it won't be word for word because the other person most likely will say something that you were not prepared for, but you can use the sheet of paper like 'crib notes', a bit of help as you type.
A TIP is IF you find yourself in a position of not knowing quite what to say, take a mini break and do a BRB for phone/drink/washroom...whatever is necessary to give yourself a chance to think through what it is you want to answer. Taking a BRB (be right back) break is not deceiving the other person, it is just taking a 'time out' so you can collect your thoughts and properly express your words. You may even get to the point of being able to say "T.O." and your online connection will not only understand but really appreciate that it is important to you to what you say.
I think anyone who has been involved with online dating, online connections, knows how easy it is to type something, send it, and then go OMG and know it is way to late to take it back. Take a deep breath, take a BRB or a TO, whatever it is you need to avoid doing that. If you do and it is a OMG all I can say is back-pedal as much as possible as you express how it went before you had a chance to proof it.
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Leith
Come on, whisper in my ear.....
Sunday, May 09, 2004
"People Are Different Online Than In Person"
I received a message the other day from someone who had dated online before and this was part of what he said. While I did answer him personally, I wanted to address some of the issues here as others may have some similar feelings.
Yes, I think it is true that people are different online than they are in person. There's a good reason for this. When you are dating online it is easier to be open and freer. Who the person is, inside, as well as who they want to be will come out. I don't think the majority of people are trying to be someone they are not, but it does give all of us the opportunity to shine. It is always best to project to your online love who you really are, not who you want to be. They may fall in love with who you want to be and not who you are.
He also stated that "if you don't find them physically attractive, it won't work". I agree that physcial attraction and chemistry are extremely important. They can make or break first contact from online dating. That is why it is extremely important that you do put a picture up of yourself, but also that the picture that you put up is a fair representation of what you look like NOW. I have discussed this on Tips for Men and Tips For Women at Online Dating Resources and this new page called best face forward.
The whole issue of chemistry is one that we only know for sure when we connect in person. The one you get to know online is the person you have met...they attract you as much, or more, in person than the picture they had online....but if there is no chemistry it can fail right there. I have always advised people never judge that on the first meeting because you are both nervous, tense, excited, and there is no way of really telling what 'pheromones' you are projecting. They could be totally off, with everything that is going on mentally/physically at that time. If you feel there is any chance at all, do meet for a second time, or even a third to make sure you are prepared to let it go completely. Don't regret it in hindsight.
Thank you "P" for your message. I hope you will keep reading and that in some way I can help you along "love's highway".
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Leith
Come on, whisper in my ear.....
Friday, May 07, 2004
New Online Dating Sites
Just wanted to pop in and let you know I have added new online dating sites today. One is for Deaf Singles, one is for baby boomer singles and one for Single Parents. I am very excited about these new additions.
More will be added later today so please do check out the main site.
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**Leith
Come on, whisper in my ear.....
Thursday, May 06, 2004
Online Stories
The majority of people who join Online Dating Sites are there to find love, a soulmate. Most Online Dating Sites cater to people in this category and do everything they can to help them find that special someone.
There are different stories for people who do not fall into that realm. When I was a moderator for a chat I spent a great deal of time watching many relationships progress to a different level. Many people had boyfriends/girlfriends, husbands/wives that were either not interested in a computer/internet, not interested in their partner, or the person online wanted to find something more interesting than what they had at home. I saw the same theme over and over....they were online and the 'partner' was either out with the kids or in front of the t.v. Yes, sometimes they came into chat after their 'partner' was fast asleep.
Most of the time it was pretty innocent flirting. Sometimes they went to "private rooms" and I did not have to guess what they were doing there, in fact I had to check in to make sure everything was ok (no I am not that kind of thrill seeker). The majority just seemed to be reaching out for something that was going to give them what they did not find in the relationship they had. The right way to go about it? Some think yes, some no. I don't think that is for anyone to judge expect the people involved.
So is cheating online really cheating? I think if you did a poll you would probably get a good percentage that say no, it is just 'innocent fun'. In past, a good percentage would be men, but I think it is becoming more equal now. Some people will tell you that even thinking about 'fooling around' is cheating, online or off. Other people will tell you that no harm/no foul if the other person doesn't know. However, there are a lot of cases were each do their thing, have fun and it really has nothing to do with their relationship. It all depends on your situation and what you can handle.
So yes, and no, to the question is there cheating online. But there is lots of love found online, so don't worry and don't give up!! Get involved, meet people, have fun!!
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Leith
Come on, whisper in my ear.....
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Love In The Air....The Ebb And Flow Of A Full Moon
I'm sure that most of you have noticed that the last couple of days have not been, what you would say, "normal". For some a full moon brings out the 'beast', others 'passion' and others 'bitch'. During this time our emotions are high, whether it's love or anger. We are mainly water, and with a full moon our 'water' is feeling the pull. With a full moon we may say or do things that we would not normally do. We may regret a lot of it after this passes, which is usually a couple of days after a full moon.
So my advice for this period is IF you have love in the air, online air :-) be very careful that it does not overflow to the point of regret. If you are about to meet your online love in person, make the date for Saturday as that is just a bit further away from the full moon of tonight.
For those online lovers who are experiencing the 'passion' of the full moon, explore, play and enjoy this time of fullness. It can be very magical!
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Leith
Come on, whisper in my ear.....
Monday, May 03, 2004
Online Dating - Oh come on...they are all losers!!!
I have had several messages that 'bascially' say this, so I wanted to talk about it tonight.
Online dating is very similar, yet so much better, than meeting someone in person. When you meet someone in person, for the first time, 9 times out of 10 you will judge them by the way they look. Hair, face, eyes, clothes, voice, etc. In fact, so many 'in person' meetings go side-ways because of the initial impression (ah yes...first impressions). When you meet someone online, what you read, is in fact (for the most part), what you get!
Some are lucky, in the 'physical' sense, with long blonde hair and blue eyes, or 6'2" and a great build. Or, if you get down to the bottom line, in a lot of physical attractions, big boobs and "hung". But in fact, we are 'us' underneath the outward parts. On the surface, we are this physical 'facade' that God gave us. Some lucky, some not.
If you are saying there are "losers" out there, for the most part I would say you are being too judgemental. That does not mean that if someone messages you who is 350lbs and bald you are suppose to be interested in them. But that person may have the heart and soul that would love you forever and give you everything in life.
My point here, and jump up and down on me if you think I am wrong, is that I do not believe we should judge anyone by their 'cover'. Who they are "inside" is so much more important than who they are "outside". If you do not find the person physically attractive, yes, of course, let it go. But with Online Dating membership sites, at least you can learn about someone from the inside out. Chances are you will love the inside long before you love the outside.
Of course there is this whole 'chemical' thing that goes on, and I will talk about that soon. For now, I hope that I have opened the possibility that love can be found from who the person is and not necessarily what they look like.
BTW, I would love you to guess what I look like after this. Come on...tell me...
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Leith
Come on, whisper in my ear.....
Saturday, May 01, 2004
Online Dating - The Wave Of The Present/Future
There has been a lot of talk about online dating in the news lately. Notice?!
One thing that has stood out, at least for me, is that they talk about it like it is a new way of meeting people, when in fact this has been going on for years. On one side the media is saying that "online dating memberships are full of "losers" and perverts". On the other side they are saying so many more people are getting comfortable with it and meeting potential mates, having a good time, and even finding love and marrying. Do you read a conflict here?
First of all, you can find "losers" in real life as well as online. I do want to go into the whole concept of the definition of "losers", but not in this blog entry. Stay tuned for this in the next day or two. I mean, what is a "loser" anyways? Sorry...to continue..... Depending on what online dating membership area you go into, yes you could end up talking to "perverts" as "they" call anything that is not vanilla (if you don't understand this term
email me and I will be happy to explain). But most that wander into the areas of "intimate relationships", "B&D", "S&M", etc., know why they are there. For those that wander in by mistake, just take a pass on the messages, block them and move to another area if it makes you uncomfortable.
We are so busy these days, live in large cities where it is so hard to meet anyone, or small areas where everyone knows you and you can't meet anyone new, that this is one way that you can reach out and almost physically touch someone. You can certainly touch them mentally and emotionally.
So yes, online dating is what is happening today and definately the wave of the future. Online, cells, cams, speed dating, so much more.
Friday night and nothing to do? Go check out my online dating resource site where we give you so many options to so many different sites. I promise you that once you have a profile and picture up you won't be online for long. Need help? Check out "Tips for Women and Tips for Men" that helps you along the process of a profile and much more.
Happy cybering!!!
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Leith
Come on, whisper in my ear.....
