Trade Secrets
to
Online Dating
What A Female Looks For In a Profile of a Man
(written by Leith)
There are several things a woman considers when she looks at profiles posted by males. Let's start with some of the basics.
Picture
It is best to submit a RECENT picture. You may think that the
picture of you from 10 years ago still looks like you do today, but it is much
better to display a picture that is less than a year old, in colour, shows you
smiling and preferably a full body shot. Now, having said that, if you
feel a bit uncomfy with with your less than full head of hair, or the bit of a
full midriff, you can certainly throw a cap on your head and wear a loose shirt
or jacket, but just remember to be HONEST when you describe your physical
appearance. Don't forget, if you plan on meeting someone in person that
you met online, they are going to find out the truth anyways, might as well be
straight right up front.
**On some 'Adult Sites' less clothing is better, at least from what I have
seen. I do have to say though that seeing a man's 'appendage' and nothing
else does very little to attract a women, unless you are well endowed and she
wants nothing more than sex. However, for a woman this is highly unlikely
as the majority of women care more about the feeling they get when they look at
a man and read what he is all about then what he might be 'carrying'. Even
in this case, don't copy a picture from the internet and try to pass "it" off as
yours. Again you will be found out in the 'encounter'. HONESTY in pictures, whether dressed or undressed is a must!
Profile
We all know that it can be very hard to write about yourself. The best
thing you can do is take a piece of paper and write things about yourself.
Your job, hobbies, sports interests, etc. Some really good points to make
are, for example, that you love walks along the beach, that
you're not a couch potato, that music is a major part of your life, etc.
Hey if you can cook, you can bet you will have many interested females! Remember you MUST be truthful as the woman who likes your profile is going to like you for who you portray. Don't say you can
cook if you can only boil water. Don't say you watch little TV when you
sit in front of it 6 hours a day.
As far as your job or income information, decide whether or not you feel that
this is a big part of who you are, as well as if you want a mate to be attracted
to you because of your job or income (or lack thereof). This can be
tricky. Not everyone cares whether you pack groceries or sell stocks
for a living, but don't kid yourself, there are ones out there that do. If
you want someone to care for who you are and not what you are then either leave
this area alone or try to give as little information as possible.
Age
For some reading this age will not be a problem. For most it will.
Whether you are looking for a younger woman, or you are young and
looking for an older woman, or you're just not wanting to admit your age because
you are worried this may turn someone off...Do Not Lie!! As I stated about
your picture, when you meet that special someone they will know that you lied
about your age so don't do it. Do you feel younger than you are? Put
that in your profile. Age doesn't necessarily mean you are ready to be
"put out to pasture" and if that special someone reads your profile and is interested,
age may not be very important.
Martial
Status/Children
If you are married and looking for a "good time" but not a long term
commitment then be up front about it. In some online dating sites this
will be a non-issue. Even in other online dating sites you may find
someone that doesn't care if you are married. But, again, be honest.
One of the worse things you can do is string along a potential mate and have
them find out later that the Mrs. is at home with the kids while you are out
with her. This will end the connection very fast. Married and
unhappy? Say so. Maybe it is best you just find a friend that you
can talk to. Maybe they are in the same situation. Bottom line, if
you fool around and she does that what is to stop that happening over and over
again. My personal opinion is get out of the marriage before you go
looking. Try not to bring too much baggage into a new relationship.
Separated/Divorced with children? Spell it out. Some women would
love the thought of being with you and your children, while others will not.
Again, don't lie. If you spring the children on her after the fact the
chances of the relationship going anywhere is slim.
Habits
Ok these are some of the issues you may not want to talk about, especially
when you are trying to meet a mate. Maybe you have a drug history, or a
current one, drink a bit too much, smoke, whatever the habit may be, so what do
you say. This is a tough one. In my opinion, I think that anything
that is in your past is best left unsaid until you meet your potential mate.
At that point, as hard as it may be, you have to be honest. Telling
something a month or two later will sound like you are trying to hide something.
But what do you say in your profile? First of all, if you smoke, admit it.
If you drink, admit that as well. Not everyone smokes/drinks, but they
will base their decision on whether or not they want to continue contact on your
habits. Are you going to try to give up smoking? Say that.
Bottom line, as in all things, be honest. You don't have to spill
your whole life history online, but just remember that when you meet this person
you will want to be straight with her if you want the relationship to continue.
Alternative
Preferences
If you are bisexual, into S&M, B&D, polyamory, etc., it is very important
that this goes in your bio, unless you are a member of a online dating site that
caters to the alternative lifestyle. In that case you would have stated those
preferences in your profile. You are more likely to meet a "like minded" mate
if you are upfront about your preferences. It is unlikely that you will
find someone that will be interested in your 'alternative preferences' after you
have been honest. This does not always hold true as some women will try to
accommodate a man she has feelings for, but in the long run she is more likely
to drop you once she realizes that it was not her preference but yours.
If you are into personal behaviors such as cross-dressing, wearing women's
under-garments, etc., this is a judgment call. It may not be necessary to
tell this upfront, but just remember that if the relationship starts to pick up
it is better to say it sooner rather than later. If she is not open minded
enough, you want to know NOW.
Summary
From a women's point of view what I can tell you guys is to be honest (as I
am sure you have noticed I have put that in bold). Show your most recent
picture, provide a truthful profile and state your true
martial status. Women do care about looks, but they will be drawn more to
who you are inside and your interests.
We are all different and I truly believe that there is someone out there for
all of us...our soulmate. But you will never find her unless you are open
and honest about what you look like, who you are and your lifestyle.
If any of you guys would like any further advice drop me an email at: info@onlinedatingresources.com. In the subject line put "A guy needs
help".
Happy Onlining!!
**More to come soon**
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Questions? Please contact me at: info@onlinedatingresources.com
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Last Updated: July 30, 2006
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